tiny tragedies discussed over coco pops and milk

10329th reason to love dad

2009-05-28T21:42:22Z

This afternoon, on our way home.

Dad instructs the taxi driver and says, we go left and right!
Oh my, split the car in two?

LMAO.

junkexpress @ 2009-05-15T18:56:00

2009-05-15T17:59:44Z

!

To anyone out there who can spare a dollar, a pound, a peso or two. Please follow the link. It’s for a great cause, I promise, if you don’t believe me, still follow the link and read on chaps. Hehe. Thank you!

Late Birthday Present

2009-05-15T15:03:56Z

After what seemed years of waiting
Diana Edelweiss have finally landed and she is a beautiful thing.

junkexpress @ 2009-05-11T20:42:00

2009-05-11T19:44:02Z

Today is one of those days where being guarded didn’t benefit me at all, or perhaps it did (in retrospect), if anything, my usual bus stop pose - arms folded, desiring to be left alone, gazing off to nowhere led to a brief, strange encounter with a drunken man. It all started when he told me to chill, as he doesn’t bite, out of the blue, even though I was already on the dismissal of his presence. A restrained, guarded smile was all I could deliver. He’s had a drink, a couple or two, and deemed it justifiable as it was his first day off after 24 days of working. What am I supposed to say back, I was clueless. A series of apologies, again came out of nowhere, he didn’t mean to bother anyone, however did it so in this strange manner leaving me unconvinced, my guarded smile had learnt its cue. I uttered a word or two. I think it was ‘thanks’ and ‘no problem’ (ok that’s not two), making an effort to pull a non-descript face. And then he asked me where I was from, and then off to more questions, a response, awkward smiles and recognition. There was nothing much to absorb on his part as I am not one to spew out my life story in a bus stop to a person I would never see again. Most of the time I didn’t know what’s been said. Yet I gathered where he used to work, the places he visited for work, the area he worked in and how it offers poor money. He repeated it too many times, that ‘poor money’. At this point, I was less scared and yet still weirded out by this unusual exchange of words. He was a man in his forties, says so by my psychic abilities, who has had a drink and probably on his way home, waiting for his bus and then perhaps insulted by the gestures of a girl stood next to him as they were left alone in the bus stop. And I was a student, minding her own business while waiting for her bus suddenly caught off guard by a blunt introduction.

I still don’t know what to make out of all this.

But a weird feeling on my part have crept up, I don’t know if I am just way too cautious of anything or suddenly my prejudices have caught up with me, either way, it went on full display earlier.

As it turns out, he was taking the same bus as me. And I decided to let him take the ride first. Yes, I went on to pretend I have a different route, I’m sorry but this is the part where I have to cut all ties. And so we part, he greeted me a nice day. I didn’t have the chance to greet back. I stared at the blinking sun and thought what a wonderful day for lending ears to a stranger who may be a potential killer, a perv, a waster or a typical hardworker, a family man, or just a man who doesn’t seem to mind talking to strangers on a bright sunny day.

junkexpress @ 2009-04-29T17:47:00

2009-04-29T16:55:37Z

I think people are getting the wrong idea here.

Yes. I want to go out. Yes I am ready for a drink or two. Yes. I think I'm coming out.
But I'm not the next *insert buffoon celebrity here*.

This Friday it's official, I'm going out.
Ika ni Shakespeare, youth's a stuff that will not endure. Somewhere along those lines...
Kaya sagot naman ni Gwen Stefani, What you waitin, what you waitin for. Tick tock tick tock take a chance you stupid hoe.

hahaha

anu daw.

junkexpress @ 2009-04-26T17:30:00

2009-04-26T16:40:05Z

Another year older, another year wiser.
I'm not entirely sure that is the case today.

I tell you, it won’t sink in. For some reason, now that I have the time to ruminate, I got nothing. I am eighteen years old. Eighteen today. Eighteeeeeen. And I got nothing, nothing of any substance.

Hmmm.

Nevertheless, I am thankful. Very very thankful as I’ve made quite a transition these last few days. Or atleast things did, not me. Life makes sense right now. And I'm happy. Guised as circumstances, they unwrap themselves and made it on time to be my birthday presents. I don’t know if that made sense. Let’s just hope all of these will push through.

Eighteen. To dream, to explore, to wild out, to discern, to conquer, to love.

And I got a fantashingschmastic present from my cheap broke ass friends! LOL
They all ganged up and bought me this:

I'm a happy kid today, really.

junkexpress @ 2009-04-21T00:24:00

2009-04-20T23:25:25Z

Today’s plans:

Finish The City Project.

Early birthday celebration with college friends.

Oral questions.

Buy shoes.

Root for yet another strange brief encounter. Perhaps.

Or not, because I don’t want to see his face again. Haha.

junkexpress @ 2009-04-20T00:00:00

2009-04-19T23:01:53Z

Made me remember mornings spent deluding myself I’m already up, washed my face, already brushed my teeth, but then five minutes after I realise I’m still in bed. It does happen right? Or is it just me? You think you’re already on the go, alive and kickin but really you’re just part awake, part dreaming.

And may I add, the mastermind of this is an effin master indeed.

junkexpress @ 2009-04-16T17:21:00

2009-04-16T16:23:21Z

Today I'm on the decline. Today, I’m throwing away opportunities. Because I think I don’t need ‘em no matter how much I think I want them. Tomorrow, I will regret it, maybe. Today I have deactivated all my senses. I have flushed out desires or maybe stashed them and hid them somewhere else, for now, they’re nowhere in sight. Today I’m blocking all information. Today I’m treating someone like dirt. Perhaps, not like dirt. Cause I’m not that cruel. Say leaving a mushroom unattended. Oh but you are a mushroom, there’s no denying.

I am no longer entertaining possibilities.

Man, why does it feel like I’m shutting the world out.

I can't decide whether to tag the choice sensible or stupid.

On repeat

2009-03-27T18:10:39Z

junkexpress @ 2009-03-25T21:42:00

2009-03-25T21:44:46Z

I'm not stupid.
So what am I doing?

Why this lethargic phase, this apathetic face.

junkexpress @ 2009-03-16T18:39:00

2009-03-16T18:51:09Z

There are days when I feel like I'm just deluding myself that I can do it.
That i can stay afloat in murky waters. That I have the superwoman strength alongside Dexter's supermagnifico brain and fight all odds.
When the truth, probably is, that I couldn't.
When can you tell you've had it, enough is enough, it's out of your league, might as well stop there and pursue something else?

If I'm having second thoughts right now, then it isn't probably the right thing to do.
Cause when it feels right, there are no buts, no questions, right?

Chicken-ing out at a wrong time.

junkexpress @ 2009-03-12T09:32:00

2009-03-12T09:36:00Z

junkexpress @ 2009-02-28T23:03:00

2009-03-01T00:03:32Z

I feel the need to flex my brain muscles and get blogging more than once in a while.
So a recap of today's events... are they really worth recapping, I don't really know. But I'm going to do it, not caring whether I kill someone out there of boredom or less severe, make someone spoon their eyes out, much less severe, tear their hair out. I am being grotesquely odd.

SO yeah. Today's headlines. More like today and yesterday...

Uno. In a small hub, making magic.

I made a video, some would call it a lame-ass birthday video for a friend situated far far away last night. It was a one night only production, except a friend of mine will make a few tailors tonight I hope. I feel a tad bit guilty about it however as I kinda took over the leading position where I'm supposed to gather everyone and make a one big happy family video but circumstances found me and one friend doing the whole thing by ourselves. So much for a class picture and a video starring the wicked bunch. Guilty since I never reached out properly to these people. Quite deserted as well as they did not seem to care so much anyway. Honestly, I wouldn't bother meeting someone halfway only to find myself stood up.

Dos. I've finally met one of my sister's uni friends as she invited her to stay in our humble abode for the night. And this afternoon, both of them just fled out of town and went back to their parties slash uni life. And it's just Saturday. Usually the sister leaves Monday.

Things are definitely changing around here and I feel fine with it, and glad of it. The immature and too dependent side of me would scream WTF, I've been abandoned, I am no longer part of the life of sis as she chooses to mingle with different sets of people making me a fly on the wall. Thoughts of a ten year old, pretty much. And now she moved out of the house, visits whenever mom forced her to...it's something I have already anticipated. I know things are never gonna be the same. And at first it felt like a huge loss on my part, there came that suckish feeling where someone you know is about to have the time of her life as she heads into the wilderness leaving you dealing with the same old routine, and you feel rotten. And then rare are those days when she acknowledges your existence but you must simply understand because she's creating a life out there for herself. Which is what I'm set out to do as well in due time. And fuck I'm scared. But I'm partially scared, mostly excited really.

Indeedy-do. Things are never gonna be the same which means they're just going to get better.

Tres. I had profiteroles, leche plan, nutella with skyflakes, and siopao today. Oh my, saturated fats. Must have been one huge gathering inside that belly.

junkexpress @ 2009-02-25T18:26:00

2009-02-25T18:29:51Z

New meme from Buzzfeed and the A.V Club: Here's a totally random way to make your new random band's new random album cover. Post one! Go to “Wikipedia.” Hit “random” and the first article you get is the name of your band. Then go to “Random Quotations” and the last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album. Then, go to Flickr and click on “Explore the Last Seven Days” and the third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

Thus, I introduce.

Photo grabbed from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/rafmad/

Shameless self-plugging

2009-02-19T20:10:38Z

If you find yourself running out of things to do, dying of boredom, plenty of hours to kill...please, be my guest.
Thank you.

junkexpress @ 2009-02-16T01:15:00

2009-02-16T01:26:40Z

</div></div>
Tangerine - Led Zeppelin</div>

Led led me away to far away foreign fields...

Obviously April is left behind, getting hooked on this classic decades after it was released.

If only Plurk could handle such cries

2009-02-09T20:17:21Z

April is feeling ugly. has got a heavy load in her chest but fails to articulate it let alone release it.. is maybe depressed. but depression is too strong a word. thinks mild depression will do.

April wants some inspiration, craves for it every single day in fact. wants her childhood back. wants to gain maturity and self-discipline. but is too stubborn to get out there and make things happen. or maybe is afraid. too afraid. needs to assert herself, needs to boost her self-esteem and adopt a fuck it devil may care attitude but too polite to do so. wishes to be audacious and free-spirited, the girl that she thought she was, but something has gone terribly wrong as she is far from her ideal self thus hates herself and her ideals. feels she is capable of so much more but wonders why the rest of her brain and body doesn't seem to agree.

April constantly wonders if people find her too dull and boring, because she feels old and weird.

April wants, needs, wishes for love. And is growing impatient. April hates the fact that the world is a day closer to V-day. Maybe that is all there is to it. But April thinks otherwise. It is not just about the single status that she's quite sick of, but the physical, mental, intellectual, emotional pressure she’s on at the moment. And she's done almost everything to get rid of em.

April just wants to live a little.

Plurk, how many karma points do I get for that?

junkexpress @ 2009-01-07T22:02:00

2009-01-07T22:03:00Z

The epic journey to college began much too late. But it was tardiness that bid some time to create that picturesque scene. I cut through the park just like every morning. It just snowed some hours ago and the huge pavement was encrusted with crystals. A thin blanket of crystals perturbed by these countless wheel tracks stretching into the horizon, laid out for me to follow, one or two converging at one point then separate several footsteps ahead. A beautiful mess. I followed it. Too early for random metaphors but the scene called for such.

They’re the trails of you and me colliding at some point. Or him and her’s. Our encounters, both meaningless and significant, visually laid out there, to be grasped by some passerby. Our paths and where they lead to, decided by fate or possibly us. We are all a mess, we are becoming a consistent mess in this journey, not knowing where to go, bumping into each other along the way, like nomads, someone once said. And like nomads, to part is also a part of all of this. The thought suddenly so tangible it overwhelmed me.

It ended a minute too soon. And just like the rest of my mornings, I was walking on damp pavement.

It must’ve been melancholyness. It must’ve been that harsh cold wind. What a time to brood.

junkexpress @ 2008-12-25T17:29:00

2008-12-26T13:33:38Z

Eto na yata ang pinakaboring na pasko ko.

Trabaho ang nanay at tatay.

Tulog ang kapatid.

Kaibigan, may sari-sarili silang mundo.

Asan kayong lahat.

Buti nalang nakausap ko si Inah, kahit nasa Australia, marunong magpasaya.

junkexpress @ 2008-12-22T14:48:00

2008-12-22T14:50:08Z

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all i still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."
- Agatha Christie

junkexpress @ 2008-12-16T19:30:00

2008-12-16T19:55:19Z

Because I'm a Taurus. And we are known to be materialistic. At times, I admit. And so here, I present my I-wouldn't-mind-if-you-give-this-to-me-for-Christmas list.

1. Rolling Stones Ice Cube Tray. You know trays couldn't get any cooler than that.

2. I am not a plastic cup uhm, cup. Because we all need to do our bit to be greener.

3. Striped jewelry box

4. Rompah Rompers! They're back!

5. Kings of Leon's new album

Very few bands I very much support. Through buying their albums. Them and Bamboo. And yeah, couldn't think of more. Haha.

That's all for now. And my oh my, look at these pictures. The red and white color theme is purely coincidental!

Apart from that, I am not asking for a lot this Christmas. I may be too young to say this, but all I want is some peace of mind, for doubts, at least for the time being, to vanish. For me to finally welcome change as New Year is fast approaching too. For everyone, including me to have fun and celebrate with the ones they hold dear. For love to spread and conquer. For hate to just go away and leave us humans be. The world can do much better without it. Really. Let peace reign on earth! I don't care how many times we killed that line.

junkexpress @ 2008-11-30T21:49:00

2008-11-30T21:49:57Z

Wake up baby
Life's knocking right out your door.

junkexpress @ 2008-11-18T00:06:00

2008-11-18T00:15:56Z

I have sent my UCAS off. All done. The decision irretrievable.
I don't know what to feel.

Say goodbye to a year long exploration of self and things back home.
Say hello to another 4 years in this sod place. Or at least 3.
Since third year could be spent abroad. The only thing that I look forward to.
Universities, accept me. If not, then that's just my fate.
My luck. Since I still yearn to be in the streets of Manila.
Still, I'd rather...

Sooner or later it all comes crashing down

2008-11-10T17:08:43Z

Could have had so much done You blew it off
Your chance is passing you by

Time waits for no one
And it cost for a lost
A cosmic joke
Should you laugh or cry

-Pharrell